/ Česky /
We are publishing here a letter from “Sasha” – a Russian con-scientious objector.
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On the cold morning of September 30, 2022, I was standing at a Moscow metro station, my heart pounding, when two police officers approached me. They stared at me and asked for my ID. They were supposed to take me to the police station to ‘verify my documents’, but I knew what that meant – my name had been added to the list of suspects, and the life I once knew was slipping away, caught in the relentless grip of a system from which I could no longer escape.”
Hours of terror followed. I was taken to a mobilization center, surrounded by police and with no chance of escape. Before I knew it, I was on a bus full of recruits, heading into the unknown. Once I arrived at the training center, I refused to accept my situation. I tried to appeal the mobilization decision in the hope that I would be granted alternative civilian service instead. I submitted a formal request, but it was ignored. Despite my efforts, I was deployed. From an early age, I understood the power of kindness and how it can transform not only others but also myself. As a teenager, I was deeply influenced by watching documentaries about World War II. I promised myself that I would always offer a helping hand to those in need and never intentionally hurt anyone.
Even during my deployment, I tried to hold on to my convictions. I was surrounded by brutality, oppression, and injustice, but I refused to become a part of it. I offered them all the kindness I could. I helped people where I could and treated them with empathy and respect, even though everything around me seemed hopelessly dark. Despite these small acts of kindness, however, the psychological burden of being part of something I fundamentally disagreed with was unbearable.
I managed to escape and desert. I now live in Georgia. My experiences have changed my life and my goals. I am now determined to end this unjust war and work toward a future where Russians can live freely and happily, without fear and oppression. I feel deep empathy for those who are still imprisoned in Russia and forced to give up their moral convictions just to survive. I hope for a future where such choices will no longer be necessary. Your support would be invaluable to me.